Log in

No account? Create an account
Starving but Beautiful's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Starving but Beautiful

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(C O U N T)

howdy. [16 Aug 2013|04:28pm]

I'm an old lj-er with a new journal looking for ana friends.

I'm female, 26 years old, overweight, located in central Europe.

I like to fast and dick around on the internet.

add me if you think we could be friends!

(4 c a l o r i es + C O U N T)

Buckling down [24 Jul 2013|10:23pm]

[ mood | sad ]

I'm 24 and extremely over weight. I look at my self and I'm disgusted with how I look. I use to be ana and Mia when I was 16-18. I'm so jealous of my friends and old pictures of myself. I want to be comfortable in my skin. My goal is to lose 100 pounds. Crazy I know. That's how over weight I am. I need friends and support! No one understands. There all skinny with leg gaps and can walk around in there bikinis. My control over my food is gone and I need to get it back. Please help!

(2 c a l o r i es + C O U N T)

[21 Jul 2013|05:22am]

Hi looking for an ana buddy. And also ana friends. I'm going to repost this in different proana communities, just a heads up when you see this repeated.

Today my husband told me he could see my abs. I've been fasting for 4 days. I'm super amazed! I've been working out for months and saw no results, I still struggle to fit into my tiny clothes(was skinny). I'm currently 160lbs 5'8 and aiming for 110lbs. I'm very motivated to work out. Infact I do everyday. I bike, run, and do metabolic workouts. But biking is my favorite thing to do.

Shout out for anyone who wants to fast with me/be friends. I post tons of thinspiration on my lj. Take a looky!

Looking for friends in their 20's

(2 c a l o r i es + C O U N T)

Hi I'm new here :) [06 May 2013|02:16pm]

Been in partial recovery on my own for a couple years but never went more than 1 year without a purge. I have had anorexia and bulimia since 1999 and before that was always doing starvation diets off & on.

I just turned 39 and thought " What a great idea it would be to have a goal for when I am 40 to try to look as fabulous as possible?" My "turning 40 into fabulous" plan didn't take long to get me to start restricting and be back online looking at "Thinspiration" and clearing out my fridge and pantry.

I gave up smoking pot about 4 days ago and drinking too. I do want to drink socially but think bringing it into the house is where I tend to depend on it too much. I believe I am a borderline addict...well the ED is definitely an addiction, soooo, maybe I AM an addict! LOL
I know where some AA meetings are and printed out the schedule...IDK if I will ever have the guts to go! I have such social anxieties as it is...walking into a meeting like that all alone scares me. I have a friend in recovery who is AWESOME but I am afraid to ask her to come with me. What if I don't really want sobriety and I go back to my old ways? I don't want someone watching me all the time and making me feel guilty, etc...

Other than that I am: an actress and a seamstress & artist. I live in Los Angeles but am originally from Maine...yup I am an official "Maine-iac" lol
CW: 134 (ugh)
GW: 115 (this is the first goals of many, I am sure!)
HT: 5'3"

Nice to meet you all!
<3 little_self

(1 c a l o r i e + C O U N T)

Stalled Weight Loss [01 Mar 2013|08:29am]

[ mood | annoyed ]

Hi everyone,

I am new here and wanted to say hi.

So here is my issue. My weight loss has stalled. I lost a lot the past 2 weeks but the past 2 days, its stayed the same. I dont work out because I hate it, but is that the reason? I eat between 300-500 cals a day and drink tons of water, just dont understand why I'm not dropping.

Little about my stats: 5'3" 153 lbs (FAT)

I need friends who I can talk to daily and motivate me. I live with my wonderful husband who is also losing weight but what motivates me is he keeps talking and pointing out how pretty certain girls are, but showing me their bodies and saying shes got all the right curves, butt size etc... I dont have any of that and so when he says that, something snaps inside me to want to be that other girl. But i need someone who is going through this as well that I can talk to.

Any ideas as to what i can do to get the weight loss going again? Will i need to work out?

(2 c a l o r i es + C O U N T)

[31 Jul 2012|07:44pm]

Hey, I'm Sierra and basically I just want help staying on track and support of people. The most I have ever weighed is 201 and I weigh right now 180. I really want to get down to 130. I just want to change my body and my life. I'm leaving for college soon and I want to start over... Any help will be appreciated.

(1 c a l o r i e + C O U N T)

new : ) [09 Apr 2012|05:26pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

Okay hi , my name is Jessie , 
i used to be anorexic but I kinda lost track of myself and I've very disappointed in myself for doing that : ( 
but I'm getting back on track I'd love to get help and support from some new friends , and I'd also love to help and support other people !  I really dont exactly know what to say , it's so hard to find other people to support me and to support and befriend but finally I've found the perfect place ! <3 
okay do umm this is my stats ;
Current height: 5'5
Current weight: 125 D ''''' :
Highest weight: 125
Lowest weight: 85
Short term goal weight: 105
Long term goal weight: 95

I also have a little tip I use daily . Everybody knows to drink a lot of water , but drinking I've water is so much better because it burns like 500 calories a week , and I drink a lot of ice water but I also eat a lot of I've because it's like drinking water but it tricks your body into thinking pure actually eating something ! : ) just saying : ) Lowell I hope I make some friends , and I'd love to get some more tips and tricks ! Thanks : )

(C O U N T)

water fastiiiing!!! [30 Dec 2010|12:35am]
Wow...... i am soooo pathethic. I read some of my entries from a while back.. and im like.... "i stiiill havent lost all this weight?" all this garbage? all this life ruining fat..? REALLY???? am i fucking serious?

I knew I needed livejournal. I KNEW i needed you guys for me to do this. I quit for a while.. I havent been on for 6 months... i ditched. I got scared, and just ditched.

I lost some weight the kind of healthy way.. but guess what.. my ED came right back in and now im still at a high weight. Ew its grose.

I hate it.

I want my skinny face back.. my skinny legs.. my skinny gorgeous shoulders... my flat tummy... I want it. More than anything.

I have the biggest inspiration right now.. a boy.... a boy I met that lives on the other coast of me.. ahaha but.... i feel like I just like him SO much. and I want to be perfect for him... perfect. I want him to look at me and be absolutely amazed. He webcams for me... and he is SOOO ADORABLE!!! omgggg... omg SOOOOO CUTE!!!! im in loooove lol ;) but.... i STILL havent webcammed for him...... i used SO many excuses... but i cant just say IM FAT. im trying to lose weight.. ummm just wait a few weeks. I cannot say that.

Im tired of using excuses, and not letting him see me, only pictures. I WANT TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL ALL THE TIME.
for him.... for us. <3

I'm more inspired than others.. and i reallyyy want to do it with you girls :) i missed you so much...

I'm fasting until I lose 20 pounds. My goal is to be 20 pounds lighter before I can let him see me.... that will only take about 10 days fasting if i do this right :)


Whos with meee??? I will be updating every single day for you girls :) I'l weigh in tomorrow, and tell you how everything is going. ahhh IM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!! :DD

Imma do this.. 20 pounds YOU WILL BE GONE!!!!!

(2 c a l o r i es + C O U N T)

[09 Dec 2010|04:51pm]

I'm new here, just trying to find another community that posts more. I just feel disgusting and fat and feel the need to rant. I'm frustrated with my stalled weight loss and am not sure what I should do to get it going again. I don't know that I should restrict much more, I'm already at about 750 a day for the last two weeks, plus walking on campus and the treadmill. Don't know what else to do! Start walking more? Start with the weights? I'm stuck at about 183lbs. A disgustingly high weight, since only 4 years ago, because of restricting and purging, I was a glorious 119lbs, the lowest I have ever been, especially since I have 4 kids! But I was put on medication that was horribly weight gaining, I am still on it, but I am on another that counteracts the weight gaining effect. But the damage has been done. Much to my dismay.
So I have a lot of work to re-do.
So, sorry for my rant. And hi.

(1 c a l o r i e + C O U N T)

[09 Dec 2010|09:44am]

Did you know that anorexia has been around since the dark ages, and has even been revered? The patron saints were revered for fasting for days and weeks and for being mere skin and bones; for giving themselves to God. It was once desirable to look as such and was acceptable in society. Can you imagine? Being looked upon with adoration instead of disgust for your self-control?

(C O U N T)

Hi! I am new to L.J! (not new in my e.d) [09 Dec 2010|01:30am]
 Hi everyone! I am new to L.J and I am looking for some ana/mia buddies! I haven't had anyone to share my e.d with in a very long time (at least not somebody who is also going through it.) 
 Feel free to send me an email at jackiemarie2010@yahoo.com I also have yahoo instant messenger. I am looking forward to getting to know all of you! 

(1 c a l o r i e + C O U N T)

I am so ready [08 Dec 2010|09:04am]

I am so tired of being fat. I used to be 105lbs and i was so happy, now i am 160 and i am a fat ass. I am ready to commit to get to my goal weights.

age: 20
height: 5'1
current weight: 160lbs
goal weight 1: 125lbs
goal weight 2: 105lbs
lowest weight: 105lbs
highest weight: 165lbs

(C O U N T)

ok [04 Nov 2010|12:01pm]

[ mood | determined ]

Ok so i am recommiting to Ana i got 'better' but i can't deal with this i am a fat fucking pig
age: 17
height: 5'4
current weight: 147.6lbs
goal weight: 105lbs
lowest weight: 123.3bs
highest weight: 165lbs
what kind of ED? EDNOS, had had anorexia and bulimia but currently resisitng mia
diagnosed: offically?never but had ultimatums from parents about wheight
how long have you had it: i had combination bulimia and anorexia for 2 years and EDNOS for a little over 1 year
best advice: Drink vineger water
what makes you happy: thinking of 105lbs and being thin and the theater parts i will get when i am thin

Any girls who want to help me/support me here's my email : anamiagal@yahoo.com
I need all the help i can get to stick with ana

(C O U N T)

theres still hope.... its never gone. [22 Aug 2010|03:58pm]
We diet. We starve. We binge. We break. We die.

Is that want you want for the rest of your life.....?

HOW many months ago did you tell yourself THAT was the day? the day where you were going to change EVERYTHING.. how many times did you repeat those days... how many times have you tried...? weeks? months? years?

Years for me. YEARS.

I'm still a fat ass. still a fucking pig.

Tomorrow is Monday... the beg of the week. I am starting a 10 day fast... yes i have never went past day 3 BUT i have more control then ever right now. EVER.

I know.. we all know we've all said that again but I feel like i seriously can this time. I might be able to lose 20 pounds..!! :D

If i really try.... really really try(:


(C O U N T)

[30 Jul 2010|09:19pm]

Hey. I'm looking for people to help me and keep me on track. Texting, email, or just messaging on here. :)
My name is Audrey. I'm 18. I restrict more than anything.
If you want to chat me up.

(C O U N T)

new! [22 Jul 2010|08:22pm]

lj username: Bridget_ana
age: 15
height: 5'4
current weight: 123.6lbs
goal weight: 102lbs
lowest weight: 119lbs
highest weight: 175lbs
what kind of ED? EDNOS, has had anorexia and bulimia
how long have you had it: i had bulimia for 4 years, anorexia for 8 months and EDNOS for a little over 1 year
best advice: i dont know what this means
what makes you happy: thinking of 102

add if you want:)

(C O U N T)

pain. [18 Jul 2010|02:04pm]
I hate myself. i absolutely hate myself for ruining my summer. MY summer. my suppost-to-be PERFECT summer. I ruined it. I ruined it with something called my worst enemy. Food. I hate it more then anything.. okay maybe not the food.. I just hate my no control over it.

have you ever read my journal? do you remember how long ago i started? im scared to look back and read when i started... 1 year? 2 years? what have i done..? what have i accomplished in my life? what? WHAT NATASHA WHAT?


i.....i honestly have no words to describe anything anymore. its too much... i just cant put it into words.. i don't know where to start. im so broken. i feel so discusting.

i know i cannot fully describe anything to you but i will try to explain not even the 10th of the pain in me.

Im a fat ass. i have been for the longest time... Its allready almost the end of summer. the end. thats it. no more fun.. no more bikinis no more life. I pushed away SO many things this summer just because i am fat. I thought i was going to do this... but i didnt.

I know i can and i know i will, but as if right now i feel like such a failure. all of my close friends who i love and havent seen in a while went to camp without me and sixflags and these other places without me because i lied and told them an excuse every single time... im so depressed. I havent done much this summer.. the only thing i am happy about is when my bestg friend DID tell me i looked beautiful and she got me to go out to clubs with her and meet amazing guys..

but guess what? later that day or week theyd call and id ignore theyre calls because i did not want them to see me again.. be repulsed by me. my best friend Stephanie always tells me "why would they call or text if theyd think your not beautiful?"

i dont know.

maybe they were drunk?

I want to feel PERFECT. i want to be PERFECT. if getting an eating disorder is going to make that happen i am willing to get it. Im already f*cked up. I dont care. i want to be beautiful more then anything.

I know i didnt explain a thing. its just so hard writing it down.... i know some of you girls have the same problems and i respect you. i know we can do this together.

Tomorrow i get my braces off :D i amj starting a new life. I plan to fast for 4 days. and then friday have 1 meal and thats before i go out and party. i hope this all works out. my battery on the scale died. GREAT. i might go buy one today.

im sorry for being gone for so long... i trully missed you.

(C O U N T)

Start The Project [04 Jul 2010|11:21pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

Tomorrow, it begins.

I'm fasting tomorrow as a head start on my serious diet. It will consist of water, veggies, fruit, and salad (mostly Greek).

I'm trying to lose 20 lbs. Fast. Because I feel fat and I hate it. I'm miserable. So if anyone has any suggestions or tips, it would be greatly appreciated.

(C O U N T)

[12 Apr 2010|08:02pm]

[ mood | content ]

Hey! just surviving down to 130lbs and 300 cal a day look like heck though
trying to fix that my dance teacher thinks my legs look GOOD!!!
finally ana is doin her job just feel lonley o well gotta keep at it have to be 120 by june for the beach anyone want to help fast or anyhting my email is anamiagal@yahoo.com
Luv eliowy

to be like all the other girls

(C O U N T)

OMG [23 Feb 2010|02:03pm]


Bust: 81 cm
Waist: 60 cm
Hips: 88 cm

(C O U N T)

tips [18 Feb 2010|01:15pm]

loved this tips to keeping the weight off you have lost. http://www.pro-thinspo.com/weightlosstipsandtrickstokeepitoff.html

(C O U N T)

pro anorexic models [12 Feb 2010|08:28pm]



(1 c a l o r i e + C O U N T)

Self-tanner [29 Dec 2009|10:19pm]


Does anyone know of a good self-tanner that isn't too orange? I'm super pale naturally and I'd like to give myself a little more color. My skin gets all blotchy and i look like death.

I'm getting it as a treat for myself because I've worked out for 4 hours (intense cardio) in the last 2 days. So happy about that :D

(1 c a l o r i e + C O U N T)

Depression [16 Dec 2009|05:16pm]


According to Dr. Oz, these are the symptoms of depression:

•Loss of interest in things you enjoy
•Changes in weight or appetite
•Change in sleeping patterns
•Feeling of sadness, guilt and hopelessness
•Making other people feel depressed and pointless (bringing other people down)

Many people in this community have probably experienced depression. Do you agree with this list of symptoms? Would you add or remove any? Have you ever experienced any of these (presumably yes, since this is an ED community)? What did you do to recover?

(7 c a l o r i es + C O U N T)

Let's start again [26 Nov 2009|08:23pm]


So I'd stopped counting calories for a while. I fell off the wagon. But it's time to start again. I would love to do it with other people. I'm using LoseIt!, an iPhone/iPod touch app. Message me or comment with your email address and I'll add you as a weight loss friend.

The app is free and totally worth it :)

Check out loseit.com for more info.

(C O U N T)

[24 Nov 2009|05:43pm]

[ mood | hopeful ]

Hey thanks to all who have encouraged me from this site.... I am down to 139 (not good but still...) Which is 11 down from two weeks ago! My waist is 31in Thank you! Your continued suport will be wonderful! I am down to 500 cal!

(C O U N T)

Thank You! [17 Nov 2009|01:13pm]
I just wanted to give everyone a big thank you for the great response on the documentary series that I'm working on! It's very inspiring! I know the issues we're touching on are very sensitive and private and I really appreciate everyone who has stepped up and contacted me. We're still working on it so feel free to e-mail me if you want more information!



(C O U N T)

Hello Lovelies [13 Nov 2009|10:43pm]

New and looking for friends. =]
Remember, you are beautiful because you WANT to be! ♥

(1 c a l o r i e + C O U N T)

ABC Diet! [10 Nov 2009|03:41pm]
Hey girls!
I'm starting the ABC diet (Ana Boot Camp Diet) tomorrow. I'l be posting in my journal daily, so if you want you can follow it with me :) I need a buddie who would want to do it with me, so if you want you can email me=)

(C O U N T)

Need Help!!! [10 Nov 2009|05:31pm]


Hi i am kindda new to this ED but with your help i am sure i can succed here are my stats

Height: 5'4
Weight: 147 ( I know its digusting)
Goal 115
Highest eva: 155
Lowest eva: 140

If you can help me out with tips and tricks and email me twice a week to keep me acountable that would be great! My email is anamiagal@yahoo.com

Hunger hurts but starving works

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]